Make Darren Youn G Great Again
WWE, 2016
Information technology'southward non uncommon for WWE to utterly waste a wrestling fable, nor is it unusual for WWE to effort and fail at political satire, simply in 2016 the company managed to exercise both simultaneously.
Ane dark in May, WWE'south announcers informed the viewers that Darren Young, formerly of the Prime Fourth dimension Players, had for the longest time been looking for a life coach. Young, humble as he was, plainly didn't desire to carp viewers past mentioning any of this in the preceding weeks.
Turns out, the person Darren Young was looking for was correct in front of him the whole fourth dimension:
Bob Backlund.
Duh.
They were spending so much time together already, I'm sure.
As a big fan of Bob Backlund's insane promos from 1994 and 1995, I should accept relished in the former champion getting screen time, just it soon became apparent that he and Darren Young had no chemistry whatsoever.
And when I say, "soon", I hateful the very commencement time Backlund spoke. WWE could have edited this vignette any way they wanted to, but instead they aired a segment that made it clear that Backlund and Young had taped their promos at completely split times.
Backlund ended the segment past repeating that he was going to "make Darren Immature great again", which some of you more astute readers might recognize equally the motto of Donald Trump.
Was WWE intentionally courtship controversy by running an angle that paralleled Trump's polarizing 2016 presidential campaign? If so, they were doing a really bad job of it.
Meet, other than being political conservatives who ran for president and accept never eaten marijuana, Donald Trump and Bob Backlund couldn't be more polar opposites.
Can you imagine Bob Backlund hosting beauty pageants or publicly defending his penis size?
Can y'all imagine Donald Trump penny-pinching or using words like "plebeians" or "convivial" in everyday chat?
Equally a soft-spoken erstwhile collegiate wrestler, Backlund had much more in common with Trump's former associate, Bobby Lindsay.
The weeks wore on, and the promos wore out, with simply Darren Young'south occasional change of shirt suggesting that these things weren't all filmed in ane day.
Every bit the mentor and protege developed their bond week after week by talking to each other via split-screen, the viewer just had to take their give-and-take for it that the two men had always fifty-fifty been in the same room together.
Supposedly, in an effort to force Immature to walk everywhere, Bob Backlund stole his car keys. This unsaid that Backlund rifled through Young's bags at the studio that day, earlier the two men were fabricated to stand in a red room and a bluish room, respectively.
Another week, Backlund insisted Young recite all the United states of america Presidents in order, like he used to brand autograph seekers do in 1995. This would be even more difficult today, as at that place have been so many more presidents since then. Mr. Backlund and then started listing off Washington, Adams, et al, at which point Darren exclaimed, "Daaaaaamn!" This, of course, earned him a scolding from Bob.
One of the nigh important developments in the vignettes was the revelation that Mr. Backlund didn't like or empathize smart phones, telling his protege non to rely on that so-called piece of automobile to tell time.
If whatsoever of what I just wrote makes information technology sound like Darren Young and Bob Backlund were ever in the aforementioned time zone together, I repent, as that'southward not how it came across on tv at all.
In one case WWE ran out of promos, it was fourth dimension to re-debut Darren Young. With Bob Backlund in his corner, Young "won" a battle royal when his last two opponents eliminated each other.
This fleck of dumb luck guaranteed Immature an Intercontinental title match.
You would think Darren Young would start to emulate afterwards Bob Backlund, then to speak. Incorporate amateur wrestling into his moveset.
Gotch-lift somebody.
Do those deep-knee lunges before his matches. Misuse big words (like emulate).
Only aside from dressing like Mr. Backlund for Halloween…
…winning one match with a caput span…
…and adopting the crossface chickenwing as his finisher for one week, Darren Immature was as nondescript as Darren Immature ever was.
Take Young'south gear, which read, "Cake the Hate".
Could you ever see Bob Backlund using "hate" (or, heaven forbid, "H8") as a noun? No, he'd say, anathema.
Another missed opportunity? Merchandising. Yous know how many "Make Darren Young Great Again" hats WWE could accept sold? Probably none, but they could take at least given them away to fans to arrive look like they were into Immature'south gimmick.
If Titan Towers could produce crate-loads of Backlund for President buttons in 1995 and requite them abroad for gratis with every purchase of an Undertaker denim vest, surely they could accept churned out a few thousand MDYGA caps to mitt out on Raw.
WWE couldn't even be bothered to imitate Trump's typography.
In that location, was that and then hard?
Given that Darren Young had recently come up out every bit gay, I should at least give WWE credit for not giving him the slogan, "Make Darren Young Directly Once more".
But Art, you say, Darren Immature was never directly.
And yes, you do have a point, merely that nevertheless wouldn't have made the slogan any more inaccurate than the one they really used.
Darren Young's first and last big match came confronting IC champion The Miz at July'southward Battleground pay-per-view.
The 2 wrestled a competitive friction match until a disruptive finish that saw Maryse slap Backlund, then trip and blame information technology on Bob.
This exacerbated Backlund, who attempted to tear off his shirt…
…leading Miz to push the crazy onetime human being over.
Darren Young then made the save by slapping on Bob Backlund's patented submission move, the… cobra clutch? The referee rang the bell to disqualify both The Miz (for beating upward a senior citizen) and Darren Young (for applying the wrong hold).
Young then stared at his easily similar Bob Backlund once did, as if to say, "What merely happened?" In this case, the audience was in the same boat.
Young immediately dropped from the IC title picture to feud with his former partner Titus O'Neil, who poked a behemothic pigsty in Immature'southward new "Make Darren Young Dandy Again" gimmick by pointing out that he had never been great to brainstorm with. The rivalry got personal when Titus threatened to knock Backlund's "former ass out" and later put the boots to Immature'southward 67-yr-quondam mentor.
Information technology was the kind of heated feud that could only be resolved through a series of whorl-up victories, with Young coming out on height 2 out of iii times.
These fluke victories failed to benefaction Immature'south career, as he dropped further down the card to the pre-taped C-shows similar Main Event and Superstars. At that place, Backlund would accompany Young to a never-ending serial of matches with Jinder Mahal. If you had told me that within a year, one of those men would hold the WWE title, I would accept said, "Bob Backlund's a footling old to be champion, isn't he?"
Young and Backlund would also serve as background dorks for Enzo Amore to riff on in "sensitivity training".
Darren Immature's last feud in WWE would exist with the Shining Stars, who tried to scam Mr. Backlund into renting a time-share.
That dark, Young would make his triumphant render to Monday Night Raw against the Shining Stars in a throwaway match on a throwaway holiday episode. After 45 intense seconds of action, Braun Strowman came to the ring to destroy everyone in sight…
…including Immature's tag team partner and fellow sensity grooming graduate, Bo Dallas…
…who for some reason was the one who got the Trump-style signs.
A few weeks later, Immature and Sin Cara would try in vain to exact revenge on The Shining Stars for implying Bob Backlund was a retiree. Young got injured during the friction match and never wrestled in WWE over again.
It'south too bad Young got injured when he did – the new President could have gotten him some other IC championship shot.
Source: http://wrestlecrap.com/inductions/mdyga/
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